Crime pays.1. Mel Gibson: Congratulations on having the DUI expunged from your record. Sugar Tits never happened. Now you can devote more energy to equality and supporting the sciences in finding a cure for cancer. With a clear conscience, you can make another movie where men beat each other senseless, eat tapir balls and have an orgasmic time.
2. David Letterman: It really helps soothe the public into forgiveness when you talk over and over about your philandering. We laugh and think how funny and honest you are. Really, thank you for your bravery.
3. Roman Polanski: Oh, the whole drugging and having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl thing. Let's forget about it. Even *she* says forget about it. You have important movies to make, your genius takes precedence, and you're old. I did stupid things, too, thirty years ago.
(Dish is pissed! But happy otherwise...)
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