Dignity, Please?

Kelly Fedora Persimmons--that New York Housewife--illegibly went pantiless to an event and her short skirt blew up and she said whoopsiedaisies. Come on. You're 40. Put some panties on. No one needs to see Old Lady Vadge. Or so I'm told when I go pantiless and park myself over a subway grate.

Another hussy scorned ex, Ali Wise, suppositorily hacked into her former lover's girlfriends' phones and did all sorts of spying. Dish used to do minor spying when *69 was all the rage. I did a few drive-bys and coffee-shop-show-ups but realized staying tied to the ex never brings good news. Plus, now that I've accumulated so many exes, I can't remember to spy on them (or some of their names). I say Ms. Wise needs to lie under the covers with a box of shortbread cookies after burning all remnants of the toxic ex. She's only 30 and has another five years before the "crazy" becomes truly shameful. Call a meeting with the girlfriends and consider Dish one of them. I can at least instruct Ali to stalk Gerard Butler, who just admitted that he's into threesomes. There is much funner fish in the sea!