How to Lose a Wife in One Month

Isn't it romantic: I love a good head-butt when I ask my husband of one month about his condom purchase. The actual details are hazy to Dish who's still strepping, but if I were Evelyn Lozada I'd be sprinting out of my mansion. When your spouse draws blood, you get a divorce. The relationship won't get better. No 10-carat diamond is worth an almighty gash on the head. I'll never forget the day a friend came into my room with a face that looked like raw steak. The man she loved had beaten the sh*t out of her, all of a sudden one night. What do you do? Run.

Oy, now that Paul Ryan's the VP choice, my FB friends are going batsh*t posting why he's so bad. Of course, he's bad if you're a Democrat. You don't need to tell me. I won't vote for him but I will admit he's got a brain and that I'm VERY curious about his exercise regime. It's allegedly "punishing" and, as an exercise devotee, I want to know what makes a person rail thin -- aside from anorexia, which never worked for me. I love fit people's secrets.