Manyana Thursday

When I'm drowning in work, I behave badly. I'll toil vigorously for three minutes, then go off to clean my bathtub for half an hour. To reward myself, I'll check Perezhilton.com AGAIN and see where that takes me (looking up bikini pics of Helen Mirren and Patricia Clarkson to see how I stack up--NOT WELL!). Tonight, I'll do either two things: watch Matthew Perry in The Ron Clark Story--though I'm dying for a movie that shows a teacher smacking the crap out of students, they're all so goody-goody and the same--which will help me stay focused. If I'm bad, I'll watch Nuts and try to memorize Barbra Streisand's courtroom monologue about why she became a whore. Imagine Babs with her beautiful nails, talking about "jobs." I'll practice this monologue to the walls then use it spontaneously at parties. Which sounds funner? It's sad, really. I get so much more done when there's someone beside me equally under the gun and needing discipline. For now I'll pretend my cat is writing his doctoral dissertation on post-modern feline discrimination. When he runs across my keyboard, he's really typing up research notes. asdsdfjal;sj