Serious Question

One of Dish's viewers wonders why Jason Bateman has never pursued nudity of any kind, with preference for full frontal?

Here's what Dish thinks: It's not a priority to see a funny person's wang. A hot person's wang is more vital. Jason Segel is an exception but he carries a bat in his pants. Why wouldn't he flash it as much as possible, which he does in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? When you write the script and star, you can order people to put a camera in your underwear. It means you will always have a girlfriend (or a boyfriend).

We didn't start out wanting to see JB naked. On Silver Spoon (he was, like, 12), it would have been illegal. But then JB got hot, so it's understandable to go from indifference to violent desire. By now, JB's image has already been established. For many, it would be like a naked Santa Claus. Exception, of course, with Julie Andrews. She unveiled her boobays in S.O.B.. There's hope that JB could drop trow in another remake of Lolita, the way Frank Langella did. We saw Frank's frank and beans flopping every which way as he ran after that little girl.

For a man, everything south of the border is big deal, even if it's not a *big* deal. Hollywood takes the wang very seriously and covers it with gold and holds it in highest esteem. Only when the codes are given, retinas scanned and i's dotted can that lightning rod makes its appearance. By contrast, girl patches are everywhere in film. I guess the answer is: I don't have an answer.

Jason Bateman is funny, a family man. Not every person thinks about him naked--but some of us do. We can only keep his potential public nudity in our prayers.